"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sext me about skeletons
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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