guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
