D3 body, D1 cock
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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