Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
they're like a gay fantastic four
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
