Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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