Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
