I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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