Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
