I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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