matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
