If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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