their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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