I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
