how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
