I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
