Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
