I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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