She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
