is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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