things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
