I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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