I look better un-naked...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
