I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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