I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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