He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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