I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
love makes seman taste better
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
