May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You are the jesus of drinking
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
