Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
