I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
