His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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