Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize