so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
