So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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