Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I could make wine with my vomit
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I am one with the molecules
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
