Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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