i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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