I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
