I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
