There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In the future we'll all be gay
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
