Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
