I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
