In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
