found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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