Kiss
Puke
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
