I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
