her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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