fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
