i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
