Swine flu. Run for my life!
its not stalking. its research.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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