Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
